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Sunshine and I like to have game nights. Since Denise isn't much for playing games, I enjoy being able to play with Sunshine. We make popcorn, she chooses a game, and then we engage in fierce competition to see who can be the master champion and ruler of the world...
...of Candy Land, Sorry, or Monopoly Jr.
You get the picture.
Well, tonight's game was a little different. When I asked Sunshine what game she wanted to play, she quickly answered, "Risk." Since I have a passion for strategy board games, this nearly brought tears to my eyes.
Nearly.
Then I remembered my opponent. I'd be dealing with a 4-year-old's convoluted strategies, things like how to race the little pieces from the Western United States to Siberia. Still, I figured I could play her way for a little while before explaining the actual rules to her.
And then crushing her in a quick game. After all, how hard can it be to defeat such an inexperienced strategist?
I was totally unprepared for my daughter's brilliant battle plan. I fell right into her trap. No strategy I developed could have prevented the slaughter I experienced tonight. With General Sunshine's permission, I'm going to share step-by-painful-step the very plan that humbled me and made me think twice before agreeing to a strategy game again.
1. Engage the enemy in friendly conversation across the embattled border.
2. Ask the opposing soldiers if they'd like some buttered, salted popcorn during this respite from battle.
3. Provide a large portion of this delicious snack for the enemy to feast upon.
4. Politely ask if they've had enough to eat.
5. Wait patiently as those stuffed soldiers finish gorging themselves and start to relax.
6. Strike hard and fast, crushing the enemy before they even have a chance to defend themselves. Oh, the carnage...
-Written by C.R.
