I visited an orthodontist this week. For the first time in my life.
Braces were the seemingly
only awkward teenage rite of passage that I was lucky enough to avoid. (Anyone else remember that kid in seventh grade who had to wear orthodontic headgear to class? Poor guy is probably still in therapy over that one - albeit with a beautiful smile, I'm sure.)
Then again, maybe I wasn't so lucky after all. It turns out that I may have just delayed that rite of passage a decade or two.
Wait...I'm not talking about the headgear - thank goodness. Phew. Can you even imagine?!
I just mean orthodontic treatment in general.
Last week, when I was at the dentist for a routine cleaning, I mentioned how un-fun it is brushing and flossing my bottom teeth. That's because my front bottom teeth are crowded and a little crooked. I don't care so much how they look because my top teeth are fine. But I've grown tired of shredding my floss every night. And I've definitely come to dread dental cleanings because of the endless fingernail-on-chalkboard style scraping around my front bottom teeth.
The staff at my dentist's office was surprised and delighted to learn that my insurance covers
adult orthodonture (consider that foreshadowing to my upcoming visit) and promptly referred me to an orthodontist. Meanwhile, I tried to reconcile myself with the idea of wearing braces at age...well, 30-something.
Nothing awkward about that.
Seriously, though. I figured it couldn't be all
that unusual. I remember a couple friends who wore braces in their 20's.
Still, I noticed something amiss the second I walked into the orthodontist's office. Every other patient in the waiting room was under the legal drinking age. And I mean waaaay under. We're talking middle-schoolers and younger. The only other adults in the room were employees or parents. The background music was decidedly
not instrumental soft rock; in fact, it sounded suspiciously like Justin Bieber.
A too-bubbly assistant took me back to a brightly-painted exam room (complete with Loony Tune characters in framed artwork), and adjusted the exam chair and x-ray equipment for my freakish height. Then she armed herself with a digital camera, mini-mirrors, and funky light to take a dozen or so pictures of my teeth.
Only thing missing was the smoke machine.
Then I finally met with the orthodontist. And he had good news.
First, he thought I looked younger than my age. I love when that happens! The orthodontist and his assistant were sweet enough to ask if I still get carded when I order a drink. (For the record, that's rare - ordering drinks
or getting carded. But I did get carded a few months ago when ordering a glass of wine at a restaurant.)
Ahem. I digress.
Second, I don't really need to get braces. Since I just want to straighten my bottom teeth and I'm not really looking for the perfect smile, I can get by with Invisalign, those clear "braces" that look kinda like a tooth-whitening tray. I didn't even know something like that existed.
Third - and most importantly - I can earn "smile bucks" if I arrive at my appointments on time, clean my teeth every day, and always talk to my parents about my dental concerns. Not sure yet what those smile bucks will buy...
...but I do have my heart set on that new Justin Bieber album.
