Don't Call

C.R. took a couple of work calls late last night. I do NOT like these calls, and it feels like he is constantly getting them, although it probably happens only a couple times per month.

What amazes me is that C.R. can be sleeping soundly when his phone rings, and by the time he answers it, he is completely awake. He'll sound like a switchboard operator who's been dying to take a call.

"Good morning," he'll say, voice clear and crisp, and faultlessly polite. "This is C.R." (Alright, he says his real name). I almost expect him to add, "How may I direct your call?"

This is yet another area where C.R. and I are different. Where he is a light sleeper, I'm a heavy and well, sorta grouchy sleeper. If I have to answer a call at midnight, I'm lucky to find the phone in the first place. I might grumble an unintelligent response, but there's no way I'll remember my name.

A few months ago, when I bought a new cell phone and changed my phone number, I had a series of interesting late-night calls.

At that point, I was in the habit of turning off my phone at night because I'd already received a handful of texts from some lovesick teenage boy. Apparently the girl of his dreams had changed her number without telling him. Hmm...I wonder why?

In the morning, I would delete his texts without responding because I didn't have the heart to tell this poor kid that he'd been sending gushy messages to a thirty-something married mom.

Anyway, I forgot to turn off my phone one night and that annoying boy called in the wee hours. I mumbled my hello.

"Hi. It's Justin."

Who? I wasn't awake enough yet to realize that the only Justin I knew was this poor lovesick teenager.

I did, however, look at the clock and realize the time.

"It's 3 AM! Why are you calling?" It also hadn't registered that I should just tell him he had the wrong number.

"Please, please talk to me." He begged. "Ashley, don't be mad."

"I am!" I said, and hung up. I was mad. Mad at some kid for waking me up at 3 am. I dropped my phone to the floor and went back to sleep.

A few minutes later, it rang again. Justin.

"It's me again. Don't hang up," he pleaded. "Pleeease. Baby, we need to talk."

Huh? Baby? The sleep-induced fog was thick.

"Look," I told him, growing more irritated, although still not fully awake. "I don't want to talk to you."

And I hung up.

When the phone rang seconds later, I didn't even give him a chance to answer.

"Stop calling me!" I demanded, very loudly, and hung up yet again. All I could think was that those calls needed to stop somehow and I couldn't figure out how to make that happen.

Fortunately for Justin, by the time he called back the last time, C.R. was awake enough to take the phone out of my hands. Imagine the shock that poor kid must have felt when a man answered the phone!

C.R. kindly explained to Justin that he had the wrong number, that there was no Ashley at this number. It took awhile to convince the kid. I'm still not sure he believed C.R.

Either way, he must have figured out that Ashley just wasn't feeling it because I've never had another text or call from him.

Still, I don't feel too sorry for him. No one should call a girl at 3 AM!